Cover Letter. Borrow Freely.

I haven't blogged in 5 years. Mostly because cool kids don't blog anymore. But also because my life entered an amazing trajectory following the submission of this cover letter.

April 19, 2012

Dear Hiring Manager,

I am Kim Berry, a world-renowned Marketing Administrative Assistant. Except, I’ve never exactly been an Administrative Assistant for a marketing company. The great news is there is no way I will be that annoying person that is always claiming, “Oh, that’s not the way we always did it at my other marketing company…” I have however, served as a Registrar for a company where I was responsible for correspondence, data entry, reception, billing, shipping, delivery, deposits, food runs, photocopying, faxing, mailing, creating reports, scheduling, editing, balancing accounts and supplying the top 5 list for Cheese Education Wednesdays.

I don’t know exactly what you are looking for, so I’ll just be absurdly honest. I want to move to Nashville, and I need a job. I realize that makes me sound desperate, but I am not. You see, I spent eight years teaching and coaching, and genuinely loved my job, the kids, and my coworkers, but I was commuting two hours a day. So, I could always teach somewhere different. I have plenty of certifications and tons of experience, I just don’t want to. I want to be able to go to the restroom whenever I feel like it, and I want to run errands all over town, and I want to file things and fax things and use sticky notes that are all linked together in a cool dispenser. I want to work in an office where I can overly organize things and leave my desk perfectly clean, or at least with the papers at precise angles parallel to the desk edge. I really enjoy people and would love the chance to work with adults who don’t tell me stories about their cat or turtle. I like kids, don’t get me wrong, I just like the idea of working with adults instead, unless of course they tell stories about cats and turtles.

You may have a ton of applicants for this job, many of which sound better on paper. I get that. But tonight when you’re thinking about all the applicants, you might want to ask yourself, “If terrorists tried to take over our building, who would we want at the front desk?” If the answer is Kim Berry, then you’ve found your Administrative Assistant. It’s really just a bonus that I also have mad administrative skills too.

I have attached my resume, and would be available to answer any additional questions you may have. I can be reached at (email address) or (phone number). Thank you for your consideration. Have a wonderful day!

Sincerely,

Kim Berry

I was offered a job in Nashville. I decided to stay in New Braunfels and become a cheer coach. Go Unicorns! Fear the Horn.