I have several friends that have pooped their pants. This thought occurred to me as I was jogging last week. A nice green porta-potty sits at a construction site that I pass when I run. I always think, “If I had to really go and couldn’t make it to the house, I could go there.” It’s kind of a safety net if you will. Last week, the potty was gone. I didn’t need to go, but panic hit anyway when I thought, “What if?” That’s when I started thinking of my friends that, at some point in their adult lives, have pooped their pants.
Now, before you start judging my friends, or decide you do not want to become my friend for fear that you too will someday poop your pants, please know that most of my friends who have pooped their pants have had valid parasite-induced excuses. In fact, most of my parasite laden friends acquired their parasites on mission trips to regions relatively unreached by the gospel. In this case, pooping your pants becomes somewhat honorable. “Wow, you’ve pooped your pants? That’s awesome! I hope I poop my pants someday…” As fun as it would be, I am not writing to tell their names and each of their ridiculously hilarious stories. I am more intrigued at the moment by the actual phrase, “He pooped his pants.”
The phrase itself makes me laugh. About 10 years ago, the word “in” was dropped from the statement, making it exponentially funnier. To say someone “pooped in their pants” is just gross and leaves you wondering why the person made such a socially unacceptable decision. However, to say someone “pooped their pants” instantly turns the situation comical and demands the entire story be recounted to an eager audience. The verbage is just funny. Obviously it would be biologically improbable that someone would literally poop their pants. That would raise serious questions about the digestive inefficiencies of the person involved, and it would certainly not be a joking matter. However, it is, in my opinion, totally funny to use the phrase to explain that someone has accidentally, for some hysterically inappropriate reason, failed to utilize normal sanitation facilities, and has instead, pooped in their pants.
“He pooped his pants.”
It’s just funny.
