After a recent trip to Colorado, I found myself contemplating the possibility of moving to Winter Park. Obviously, in order to enjoy the move it would be imperative to buy new clothes, learn the lingo, and fit in with the locals. I started considering things that would need to change.
First, I would be forced to purchase a Subaru Outback.
First, I would be forced to purchase a Subaru Outback.
I am both fascinated and confused by the popularity of these Subarus. I’ve always thought of Colorado folks as being adventurous and rugged outdoorsmen, so the abundance of miniature station wagons was very confusing. I did some research. Apparently, this Subaru thing has all-wheel drive, exceptional ground clearance, and the flexibility of a hatchback. Ok, but it’s still a station wagon. You can throw a ski rack or a bike on top and manage to look a little cooler, but in the end, it’s still a station wagon.
However, I would far prefer a station wagon to this:
We arrived in Denver after dark and were assigned the rental car in space 3-E. We laughed that we got stuck with a PT Cruiser, but we didn’t realize until the next day that it was pee yellow. People in Winter Park laughed out loud as we rolled down their Subaru saturated streets. A little old lady outside the ski shop literally giggled as she asked, “Is that your car?” Rude.
Secondly, I would have to make major improvements in my skiing abilities. I like to think of myself as the kind of skier that loads up a camelback with Red Bull, drops from a helicopter, and launches myself from perilous cliffs while X-Games commentators rave about my unbelievable skills. This is simply not the case. I’m convinced that my incredibly fast and reckless skiing causes everyone to assume that I’m wearing an IPod blaring, “Welcome to the Jungle” as my personal ski soundtrack. However, my friends assured me that based on watching me ski, a more accurate soundtrack would be similar to a jack in the box wind up toy. Da doo da doo da doota de do... Rude.
However, I would far prefer a station wagon to this:
We arrived in Denver after dark and were assigned the rental car in space 3-E. We laughed that we got stuck with a PT Cruiser, but we didn’t realize until the next day that it was pee yellow. People in Winter Park laughed out loud as we rolled down their Subaru saturated streets. A little old lady outside the ski shop literally giggled as she asked, “Is that your car?” Rude.
Secondly, I would have to make major improvements in my skiing abilities. I like to think of myself as the kind of skier that loads up a camelback with Red Bull, drops from a helicopter, and launches myself from perilous cliffs while X-Games commentators rave about my unbelievable skills. This is simply not the case. I’m convinced that my incredibly fast and reckless skiing causes everyone to assume that I’m wearing an IPod blaring, “Welcome to the Jungle” as my personal ski soundtrack. However, my friends assured me that based on watching me ski, a more accurate soundtrack would be similar to a jack in the box wind up toy. Da doo da doo da doota de do... Rude.
I’m not sure how to improve my skiing abilities while I am still in Texas. I thought about turning on the treadmill really fast on a huge incline setting. I could throw on some rollerblades and face downhill. I think it could work.
Finally, if I want to fit in with the locals, I would need to start smoking pot. I’ve never been a fan of the idea, but fitting in is a big deal. There are obvious benefits in the athletic world (see also blog 11/15/08), and it would probably be beneficial during my Texas treadmill ski training. We’ll see.
Despite the PT Cruiser ridicule, insensitive skiing criticism, and people’s prolific use of marijuana, this was probably my favorite Colorado skiing trip ever. Chad and Shanon, you are so amazing to let us stay for 4 days! I really enjoyed getting to hang out with you guys. Jason and Cheryl, it was great to see you, and thanks for the ski hook up. Andrew, fun hanging out, we’ll see you when the snow melts. Cody, I heard you are like crack-cocaine to youth groups. I guess that’s a compliment. Awkward, but a compliment nonetheless. Marc, fun trip. Great idea. I’d do it again. Oh, by the way, the camper picture was not Chad and Shanon’s house. This is their house and their super cute kid:
Finally, if I want to fit in with the locals, I would need to start smoking pot. I’ve never been a fan of the idea, but fitting in is a big deal. There are obvious benefits in the athletic world (see also blog 11/15/08), and it would probably be beneficial during my Texas treadmill ski training. We’ll see.
Despite the PT Cruiser ridicule, insensitive skiing criticism, and people’s prolific use of marijuana, this was probably my favorite Colorado skiing trip ever. Chad and Shanon, you are so amazing to let us stay for 4 days! I really enjoyed getting to hang out with you guys. Jason and Cheryl, it was great to see you, and thanks for the ski hook up. Andrew, fun hanging out, we’ll see you when the snow melts. Cody, I heard you are like crack-cocaine to youth groups. I guess that’s a compliment. Awkward, but a compliment nonetheless. Marc, fun trip. Great idea. I’d do it again. Oh, by the way, the camper picture was not Chad and Shanon’s house. This is their house and their super cute kid:
Thanks everyone! You guys are awesome. Maybe I'll be a local someday!
-Kim
(disclaimer: I do not condone the use of marijuana or cocaine or any illegal substance. I was simply making observations. Drugs are bad. Do not do them.)
