September 16, 1950 marked the first allegation of mysterious disappearances in the region now referred to as the Bermuda Triangle. The unexplainable phenomenon created an overwhelming sense of fear and dread to the families of people who insisted on crossing through these treacherous boundaries.
I hate snakes. I also have little appreciation for attack bugs or lizards. This snake was found Thursday living under a rock near our fence.
Her head was immediately severed, and the lives of her baby snake children were not spared. I do not feel guilty.
I also found this little guy in the driveway this week. This was probably unintentional, but again, I do not feel guilty.
These little guys lost their lives in the door jam of our front door. Unintentional. No guilt.
I left the body of the dead snake in our driveway for a couple days, along with the carcasses of the other unfortunate reptiles and arthropods that ventured onto our turf. I hope our message is clear: Fear us. I want all snake families to tremble in fear when one of their loved ones ventures onto our property. I want certain death to thwart their travel plans. Die snakes, Die.
Ok, that’s all I have to say about that. I’ll work on my resume now. My only real plan today was to work on my resume. Instead I have cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed, finished laundry, read a book, and found a new location for our hide-a-key. If prospective employers tried to find the hide-a-key or could see how clean my house is, they’d hire me for sure. Well, unless they saw the murdered snake in the driveway.
5 comments:
Classic Kim. Classic.
Thanks for a good laugh. I CANNOT wait to see you! And any boss that doesn't hire you it is def their loss, you are the coolest person I know!
PS. I would totally fear you if I were a snake family and I would definitely slither to Erin's house knowing she couldn't kill me :)
PSS. The word below to "approve" my comment is < shiat >..... ha ha.
Okay I had not trouble going to ya'll house after seeing the snake, but after seeing the gecko... apart of me know wants to skype in for Bible study.
That's nasty. However, what I noticed first was the fact that the dead snake was on a microwave? Is that in front of the house? Or is the microwave complimentary to the George Foreman located on the back porch?
For the record, my heart only got sad when seeing the lizards. If you are a big snake with babies, then you need to die.
But then again...what if she had a nursery and baby snake showers thrown by all her snake friends and was just waiting to give birth and post photos on facebook? Just a thought.
P.S. My "approve" word was wheni...like wieny. Get it?
sweet Kim! I so appreciate how you make me feel that I am not alone in my randomness and weirdness. And if any one ever tells me again that I am the strangest person they know, I can in return inform them that there is yet another out there, whose oddities and quirky insights far surpass that of my own : ) I love you and your posts!
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